But now that more people are getting COVID-19 vaccinations and you’re likely planning your social re-emergence, you may feel a little awkward and worry that your social skills are a little rusty—and if that’s the case, trust us when we say it’s normal. SNL even had a recent skit on post-COVID dating that’s oh-so-relatable. And, you’re definitely not alone, says Dr. Dawn Potter, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and clinical assistant professor at the Cleveland Clinic Lerner College of Medicine. She says her patients are reporting more social anxiety lately and that their social skills are out of whack. “What has happened is that COVID has changed the way we socialize really significantly,” she says. Social distancing and lockdowns led to the development of new social skills, such as video call etiquette and staying six feet away from others while grocery shopping. “People are having to learn all of these new things that they haven’t done before, so they feel that their social skills are rusty, but actually they’re trying to learn new skills,” Potter adds. With vaccination rates increasing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says fully vaccinated people can hang out in person with others who are fully vaccinated without masks or social distancing and visit unvaccinated people who are at low risk for contracting coronavirus. As you re-enter your social circles, it’s understandable to feel nervous and a bit anxious. We asked mental health experts to share some tips for getting your social skills back on track.
Why have our social skills been impacted?
The uncertainty surrounding the pandemic and lockdown measures has heightened social anxiety, research shows. People are working from home, not socializing in person, and likely not even chitchatting with others throughout the day. “It’s kind of an if-you-don’t-use-it-you-lose-it kind of thing,” Potter says. “They’re not engaging in as much small talk. Maybe they’re ordering their groceries [online], so they’re not having that conversation that they would always have every week with the cashier at the grocery store, or they’re not chatting with their neighbors anymore. And so, they’re just out of practice.” The new social norms inspired by COVID-19 are also increasing anxiety and uncertainty around social interactions, says Dr. Rebecca Cowan, PhD, core faculty at the Walden University School of Counseling. For example, masks are essential for stopping the spread of the virus, but they also hinder you from picking up on facial cues, and when most communication is nonverbal, this negatively impacts communication. “Removing these nonverbal cues complicates our social interactions,” Cowan adds. “Some may find this to be so uncomfortable that they may completely withdraw from social situations.” Knowing how to greet other people post-pandemic may also heighten anxiety and uncertainty, Potter says. “People may feel a lot of social discomfort or uncertainty when they’re starting to see people in person again,” she adds. “Do we shake hands? Do we bump elbows? How close do I stand when I’m talking to them? They have all these questions, and so that creates a sense of not having the same social skills as before.”
What are some signs your social skills are rusty?
Feeling uncomfortable or awkward in public these days is understandable. Some signs your social skills are a little rusty include:
Feeling anxiety or uncertainty about situations you wouldn’t normally think aboutMissing social cues from others Experiences lots of awkward silencesFeeling emotionally exhausted from socializingLooking for reasons to avoid social eventsTaking less initiative in social settings than you normally would
“People who are more extroverted may actually still be able to thrive in this situation,” Potter says. “People who more have an introvert temperament might have trouble connecting in these settings.”
How to get your social skills back on track
Interacting with the outside world probably feels scary right now, especially when technology has ruled most of our communication for the past year, Cowan says. During a video call, it’s easy to turn off your microphone or camera when you don’t want to be seen or heard. But there’s no off button to click on when in-person socializing get uncomfortable. Especially anxious about this? Start slow, she adds, by setting small goals and embracing the most comfortable social settings first. “When they are ready, they can gradually expose themselves to situations that might be more anxiety-provoking,” Cowan explains. This lets you practice social skills while learning to manage your anxiety. Some other ways to overcome awkward post-pandemic social interactions, according to Potter, include:
Brainstorm beforehand. Think through who you’ll be interacting with and what details do you know about them, such as what activities their kids are involved in. Reignite the small talk. What kinds of things did you use to talk about in that setting with those people? Bring up those subjects when you reconnect. Look for support. Talk to others about your feelings of nervousness or anxiety—they’re probably feeling it, too.
What to do when your social anxiety gets to be too much
Worried about your social skills? Keep in mind that most people are feeling awkward, too, and people tend to be more conscious of their own behavior than others are of them, Potter advises. “Most people are wrapped up in their own world and thinking about what they’re doing and what they’re going to say next than scrutinizing another person’s every move,” she says. “If a person is feeling nervous, they should remember that they are probably noticing much more than anybody else that they’re blushing or sweating or stammering.” Practicing self-care can help you deal with mild social anxiety and build confidence to feel more comfortable socializing. That could include paying attention to diet, exercising regularly, getting plenty of sleep, and doing nice things for yourself. “Do something extra special to be just like, ‘Yeah, I’m important, I’m great, I’m capable,’” Potter says. “That helps people feel more confident, and then when they go into a social situation, they’re less nervous.” Nervousness is normal. But, when your nervousness or anxiety over being in a social setting interferes with your ability to enjoy it—or the feelings are persistent—it may be time to talk to a mental health professional, she emphasizes. Next, read more about social anxiety and how to overcome it.
Sources
Dr. Rebecca Cowan, PhD, core faculty, Walden University School of CounselingDr. Dawn Potter, PsyD, clinical psychologist, clinical assistant professor at the Cleveland Clinic Lerner College of MedicineCenters for Disease Control and Prevention:Interim Public Health Recommendations for Fully Vaccinated PeopleInternational Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health:Is Lockdown Bad for Social Anxiety in COVID-19 Regions?: A National Study in The SOR Perspective
