Dear Noah, Next week, you’ll begin one of the most exciting journeys of your life as you walk through the door of your kindergarten classroom for the very first time. You might see tears in my eyes as you move away from me; you might even see my chin wobble a bit as I try to hold back the emotion. But don’t worry; I’m not sad. I’m proud. I’m so proud of everything you are, and of the enthusiasm with which you’re facing this next big adventure. This year you’ll learn about reading, writing, coloring, adding, subtracting, and those ever-elusive scissor skills (which I’m still not all that good at myself). But you’ll also learn so many things that can’t be found in a curriculum or in a book—and so many of them are simple lessons that adults sometimes forget along the way. If you can hold tight to the basics, and apply them to every area of your life, I think you’ll find yourself on a path that is strong and true. Here are some of the things I hope you’ll learn this year—and carry with you always: The joy is in the journey: Sometimes, adults get so caught up in striving for accomplishment that we forget one of those simple lessons that we should have taken with us from that very first week of kindergarten: It’s not about the end goal; it’s about the journey. Your kindergarten days will be filled with adventures: art projects, songs, imaginative games, cool things to learn. You won’t be worrying this year about report cards, paying bills, or heading up a family. Adulthood will be filled with responsibilities, which is just a part of growing up, but I hope you’ll look back at the carefree joy of these early days—hanging from a swing set, watching a butterfly emerge from a cocoon, gathering with your friends at circle time—and be reminded that if we can find the joy in the journey rather than waiting for the end goal to fulfill us, the road itself will mean so much more. You won’t always be right—and that’s okay. I know that just like me, you like to do your best at things, and you feel frustrated when you don’t quite achieve what you set out to do. But part of growing up means realizing that you aren’t perfect. You’re human. That means you’ll get things wrong. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll strike out and drop balls and fumble just shy of the end zone. You’ll fail quizzes; you’ll inadvertently hurt feelings; you’ll screw things up. But those things don’t matter. What matters is how you move forward from those moments. You could beat yourself up, or you could use those experiences to grow. And I hope that for the rest of your life, you’ll remember that whenever you feel you’ve fallen short, perhaps what’s really happened is that you’ve taken a step back to get a running start on the future. Kindness is a choice: The older you get, the more you’ll realize that simply being kind isn’t always the obvious decision. Sometimes, you’ll be annoyed at others, and it can feel like a release to snap at them. Other times, you might find yourself wanting something that another person wants, too—and it might be tempting to simply take it, even if it isn’t yours. But if you ask yourself, “Is my decision the kind one?”, and the answer is no, you should take a step back and look again. This doesn’t mean that you have to give in when you’re facing off against someone, nor does it mean that you ever have to let anyone walk all over you. You deserve to be kind to yourself, too. But if you strive to follow your heart and always aim to act with kindness, you’ll make the right decision the majority of the time—and in doing so, you’ll make the world a better place. Listen with open ears—and an open heart: One of the first things your kindergarten teacher will probably tell you is that it’s important to listen when he or she is speaking—and that it’s important to respect others when they’re speaking, too. It’s a great lesson, and a great thing to get accustomed to, but it’s not just about being respectful. It’s also because those who really listen also learn the most about the world. If you fill all the spaces by talking over people and steering every conversation, you’ll miss opportunities to grow, because sometimes the greatest lessons come from hearing—and truly trying to understand—someone else’s point of view. And sometimes, you’ll find your greatest peace in the quiet. Share with others, play nicely, and clean up after yourself: These are three classroom basics that, in kindergarten, are mostly about classroom manners. But in life, as author Robert Fulgham points out in All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, they’re more than that; they’re basic concepts of fairness that you should carry forward into your childhood and into adulthood, too. As long as you remember to actively share—toys, kindness, natural resources, love—you’ll be playing a role in making the world better. When you play nicely—and fairly—you can go home at the end of the day knowing you did your best to treat other people right. And when you clean up the messes you make—both literally (i.e. your crayons) and figuratively (i.e. mistakes you’ve made in the way you’ve treated other people)—you’ll be doing your part to change the world. Noah, every day, we have hundreds of opportunities to make small choices, and in kindergarten, you’ll find more chances than you’ve ever had to chart your own path. But how will you use those opportunities? As the road of life begins to unfurl ahead of you, you’ll realize that the big things that make you who you are and determine your place in the world are determined by the tiniest moments, the hundreds of seemingly inconsequential choices you make every day. And the overall decision to be good and fair and kind, to others and to yourself—will be the best decision you ever made. I’m so proud to be your mom, and I can’t wait to see your amazing journey unfold. I’ll be here always, rooting for you and loving you with every step—and every misstep—you take along the way. Love, Mom Next, can you make your own luck? Author Mary Alice Monroe thinks yes—here’s why. Friends & Fiction is an online community, weekly live web show, and podcast founded and hosted by bestselling authors Mary Kay Andrews, Kristin Harmel, Kristy Woodson Harvey, Patti Callahan Henry, and Mary Alice Monroe, who have written more than 90 novels between them and are published in more than 30 languages. Catch them and their incredible author guests live every Wednesday at 7pm ET on the Friends & Fiction Facebook group page or their YouTube Channel. Follow them on Instagram and, for weekly updates, subscribe to their newsletter. Kristin Harmel is the New York Times bestselling, USA Today bestselling, and #1 international bestselling author of more than a dozen novels, including The Forest of Vanishing Stars, The Book of Lost Names, and The Winemaker’s Wife. Her novels are published in 29 languages. A former reporter for PEOPLE magazine and contributor to the national television morning show The Daily Buzz, she is the co-founder and co-host of the popular web series and podcast Friends & Fiction. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and KristinHarmel.com.
